The Unexpected Memories

With my last command being a destroyer on the west coast I didn’t really know what to expect especially after switching rates from engineering to law enforcement. Since I was only going to supposedly be there for a short period of time I didn’t really expect to make that many memories or make that many friends out there. I wanted to use my contract in Cuba as a time to work on myself mentally, physically and spiritually. I wanted to break bad habits I learned from being stationed on a ship and replace that with something more healthy.  In order to do that I had to put a pause on my professional career which gave me the opportunity to start my healing journey. For a while God put me in a period of isolation where I just went to work and went home. I didn’t have the desire to really socialize and hangout with everyone. In that period he taught me not to depend on other people for my happiness but to trust Him instead. I’m not going to lie, there were some rough nights where I prayed asking God to bring me home to Him and I was tired of being here. It wasn’t until after I came back from leave in September 2024 where I felt God calling me to lead worship at the on base chapel. To this day I still don’t know why He called me specifically. For a while I felt unworthy being up there in front of everyone. Especially after walking away from God a couple years back. I will be forever grateful that He led me back to Him and called me to serve with an amazing and talented group of people. Since then my experience after that was a blessing in disguise. I made unforgettable memories with unexpected friendships that turned into family. God brought the people I now call my GTMO family into my life for a reason but I do pray that it's for a lifetime. They all played an important part in my healing journey and gave me a new perspective on how to view life and my faith. I truly wouldn't have been here today without everyone’s love and support. They’ve shown me love even when I felt like I didn’t feel worthy or didn't deserve it. When my mind kept telling me that I wasn’t enough or unlovable, God proved those thoughts wrong. He surrounded me with unexpected friendships to remind me that I am enough, I am loved, and I do matter. When it was that time to say goodbye it honestly broke me. I didn’t really care about saying goodbye to the location. The hardest goodbye I’ve experienced will always be to my GTMO family. It took everything in me and try not cry. Did it work? No not even a little. If I didn’t break down in front of them I sure did behind close doors. They were at the start of my healing journey and I wanted them to be there until the end. Pushing me and holding me accountable. To me it felt wrong to leave the people that played an important part in my healing journey. The hardest and heartbreaking thought I had to overcome was that the moment I said Goodbye was going to be the last time I saw them. That made saying goodbye even harder and I kept procrastinating the process to transfer. I prayed to God if He could give me more time with my family but He said I learned what I needed to learn and it was time to break free out of the cocoon and bloom into my butterfly era. There’s a song I heard yesterday that summarizes my GTMO experience because of the friendships that God blessed me I can sing the chorus with love.

“ Now I'm alive to tell the story, how I've overcome, by His goodness and mercy and the power of the blood and I'm so glad that my freedom wasn't based on what I've done But His goodness and mercy And the power of the blood” (Mercy by Elevation worship Feat Chris Brown)

To my GTMO family, Overall I couldn’t have asked for a better way to start my healing journey than starting it surrounded by everyone. Thank you for changing my life for the better and always being there when I needed you the most. Although I didn’t see it at the time, looking back God brought you into my life at the perfect time. You’ve picked me up when I was at my lowest and loved me when I had trouble loving myself. I’m grateful for the time spent together and the memories we shared. You will all hold a special place in my heart. If I had to choose one word to describe GTMO personally from my own experience I would say Healing not necessarily physically but more towards mentally and spiritually. It makes me think if things turned out differently a few years ago I wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to meet the people in my life that’s given me a reason to stay. My experience here has been a blessing and a healing experience. Being surrounded by a chosen family has given me a new perspective on life and how I view myself. Even on my bad days you put a smile on my face and make my day. Missing everyone and the tears that fall down my face will be my greatest gift because that means you left an unforgettable mark on my heart and my life. Even though we are saying goodbye, you will always be family 🤍